


In A Hundred Lifetimes

by winterfool



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drabble Collection, F/M, Fluff, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-05
Updated: 2015-08-05
Packaged: 2018-04-13 04:06:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4507122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterfool/pseuds/winterfool
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"And I’d choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d choose you."</p>
<p>James/Lily drabbles written for tumblr prompts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wedding Blues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Two miserable people meeting at a wedding AU

As a rule, Lily didn’t like weddings.

She liked the idea of them; she liked the concept of marriage, of finding someone you wanted to spend the rest of your life with and then solidifying that commitment, celebrating your love with family and friends.

In practice, they just reminded her that even if she did find someone she wanted to marry her family _wouldn’t_ be there. Watching ecstatic brides being walked down the aisle by their fathers and or grooms’ mothers sobbing with happiness just made Lily think about how her parents were gone, and the sister that had she had played at weddings with no longer spoke to her. All in all, most weddings just gave her the desire to get absolutely, thoroughly drunk.

But when her best friend asked her to be a bridesmaid, how could she refuse? So she turned up and put on the dress (thankfully a pale green that matched her eyes and didn’t clash with her hair), plastered a fake smile on her face and tried not to look as if she would far rather be curled up under a blanket with a hot chocolate and a good book.

She drew the line, however, at Marlene trying to set her up with one of the groomsmen, who had been sending her lascivious grins and winks all through the ceremony. So when the speeches were over and everyone was distracted by the bride and groom taking to the floor for their first dance as husband and wife, Lily slipped outside to hide in the hotel’s garden.

As the cool shadows washed over her, she let out a breath she felt like she had been holding all day. Then something moved in the corner of her eye and she swung round, her shoulders tensing and her heart beating fast in alarm.

“Sorry! Sorry.” A figure stepped out of the corner into the light of the windows, hands held up in a conciliatory gesture. He was tall, with black hair that looked like it had been vigorously attacked with a comb but still refused to lie flat. Lily couldn’t quite make out the colour of his eyes, set behind rectangular glasses, but they looked dark. “Didn’t mean to startle you.”

“It’s alright,” Lily shook her head, relaxing a fraction. “I didn’t realise anyone else was out here.”

The corner of his mouth quirked wryly upwards, and it occurred to Lily that this stranger must have been hiding much as she was. She wondered why.

“Didn’t much fancy being in there. I’m guess you don’t either? You didn’t look very happy during the ceremony,” he said, surprising her.

“What makes you say that?”

“You were smiling but it seemed … forced, I s’pose. Like you were trying to be happy instead of being happy.”

She wasn’t quite sure what to say to that. She wondered if her smile had been obviously fake to everyone, or if he had just been paying particular attention (that idea set her stomach fluttering, slightly to her annoyance; it would be highly ironic if she fell for someone she met at a wedding). Before she had to formulate a reply, though, he added,

“I’m James, by the way. James Potter. I’m the groom’s third cousin twice removed or something like that.”

“Lily Evans. I’m a friend of the bride,” she said, taking the hand he was holding out to her. His grip was firm and warm. “So why are you hiding out here?”

He shrugged, running a hand through his hair and making it even messier – though that seemed to suit him more. “My dad had to work, so I’m here to keep my mum company. I don’t really know anyone else so it’s just kind of … uncomfortable. I’d rather not make awkward small talk, so I’m being a miserable git instead. What about you?”

Glancing down at her feet, she did her best to make her reply light and airy; she didn’t particularly want her first conversation with a cute guy to be about her deep-seated family issues. “I’m just … not a wedding person. I mean, I’m happy for them, of course, it’s just not my thing.”

“Oh …” A quick look upwards showed that James looked more confused than anything else.

“Besides, I think they’re about to start a conga line,” she added.

That made him grin, a grin that was wide and bright and charming. It reached up to his eyes, and was the kind of smile that was infectious; Lily felt her own lips curving upwards almost involuntarily. She was suddenly very glad that she had agreed to come today, despite previously feeling like she would rather have been anywhere else.

“Well then. I’ll guess we’ll just have to be miserable gits together,” James said.

Still smiling, Lily nodded. “Yeah. I guess we will."


	2. Jailbirds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Meeting in prison AU

Sitting in a cell in her local police station was not how Lily had planned to spend her Friday night.

If she leaned back against the wall she could just make the big plastic clock on the wall of the main room of the station, which told her she had now been here for three hours. Three hours left on her own – the police officers who had arrested her, while apologetic about locking her up, had had to get back to work – going out of her mind with boredom as she counted the ceiling tiles for the tenth time, trying to ignore the sinking feeling that she was going to end up being here overnight.

_Great. Just great. I always wanted to be able to add ‘spent a night in jail’ to my CV._

As she mused over whether or not it was worth giving up and curling up on the bench to try and sleep through this nightmare, a noise from outside the holding cells distracted her. Getting to her feet, she moved across to the door to get a better view.

There were people talking, and seemed to be moving in her direction. The deep, gravelly voice floating in belonged to the custody sergeant that had booked her – but the person replying sounded much younger. It definitely wasn’t a voice she recognised, so any faint hopes she might have had of someone coming to get her out were dashed to pieces before they could fully form.

Then the sergeant came through into the custody suite, and Lily realised he was bringing another – what did she call herself? Arrestee? Inmate? Or just plain criminal? – in, a boy about her own age. He was tall, with black hair falling messily about his face, and looked as if he had just crawled through a hedge backwards; grass and mudstains were visible on his clothes and skin, and his jeans looked freshly ripped. Despite that, he was smiling and looked completely unconcerned with his situation.

“In you go then, Potter.” The sergeant had opened up the cell opposite Lily’s and was ushering the boy in. “I’ll call your parents.”

“Thanks, Greg. You’re a mate.”

The sergeant just gave him a look and disappeared back through into the main part of the station; clearly, this wasn’t the boy’s first time in custody. 

He didn’t notice Lily at first, shaking his head in amusement and starting to settle himself on the bench in his cell. Then, as he turned slightly round, his eyes fell on her. Even with the dim lighting in the cells Lily could see the spark of interest flare in his eyes. He got back up and came over to the door of his cell, looking her up and down in a way that could easily have been lascivious but was apparently just friendly curiosity. Leaning lazily against the bars, he gave her a lopsided grin.

“Hello. And who might you be?”

She hesitated for a second – after all, she didn’t know what he’d been arrested for – but after three hours on her own she was ready to talk to anyone. Besides which, she didn’t think the sergeant would just be calling his parents if he was really dangerous.

“Lily. Evans.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Lily Evans. I’m James Potter.”

As he leaned forward the light fell across his face, illuminating his features so Lily could see them properly. It was a good face, she decided after a moment. There was honesty and good humour in the lines of his mouth, and despite the wicked edge to the mirth in his eyes there was kindness there too. It was also a very handsome face, but that was completely by the by.

“Nice to meet you, James.”

“So how did you end up in here?” He glanced down at her smart-casual jeans and jumper. “You look very much the good girl, if you don’t mind my saying.”

“Um …” she trailed off, both defiantly proud and completely mortified of how she had ended up here, and not entirely sure which she was more of. Perhaps James could tell and wanted to put her more at ease, because he abruptly decided to share his story first.

“I was caught trespassing. Again. There’s a park not far from where I live, me and friends like to hang out there. Technically it’s private, so we only go when it’s dark. Usually it’s fine, but this time it was actually being used, worse luck. I doubt the old codger who owns it will press charges, but his gardener had to call the police anyway.” It was clear he found the whole thing highly amusing.

Lily, who couldn’t help feeling relieved that she wasn’t conversing with a hardened criminal, had one question. “Again?”

James laughed. “Yeah. Well. Okay, so we’ve been caught there a couple of times. But it’s not like he uses it that often. It’s a waste. And we’re not causing any harm, just … hanging out.”

A charm and confidence seemed to radiate from him as he spoke, that it was difficult not to be taken in by. Lily found herself smiling at him without really meaning to, and suddenly didn’t much care if she made it out of here tonight or not. James was shaping up to be a much more interesting prospect than returning home.

“So, come on. Your turn.”

“Okay. Okay. I’m … I’m actually here on assault charges,” she confessed, biting her lip in embarrassment.

“ _Assault_ charges?”

She sighed. “I punched my sister’s fiancé in the face.”

James was staring at her in disbelief and what, to her surprise, looked like admiration. “Why did you that?”

“Because he was being a dick.”

“You do any damage?”

Lily shrugged. The way he was looking at her, like he was looking at something amazing, was making a warm blush come into her cheeks. “He was squalling that I broke his nose, but there wasn’t any blood and it didn’t feel like anything broke so I think he was just making a fuss.”

“And he called the police on you?”

“Yep.”

“He really is a dick, then.”

And wasn’t that the absolute truth. The only person Lily disliked more than her sister’s new fiancé was his sister, and she just thanked her lucky stars she hadn’t had to meet the parents that had raised such an awful pair.

As James grinned away at her a thought popped into her head. “Where are your friends, by the way?”

“What?”

“You said you and your friends were trespassing, so where are they?”

He pulled a face. “Got away, the lucky gits. When we realised we were going to get caught we all scarpered in different directions. I was the one old Jimmy decided to follow.”

“So you’re in here, and they got away scot-free?”

“I don’t know.” James met her gaze square-on, and something in Lily’s stomach started fluttering wildly. “I’m starting to think I got the better end of the deal, to be honest.”

Spending the night in jail had not been Lily’s plan. But maybe getting arrested wasn’t so bad after all.


	3. Teacher's Pet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Teacher/Student AU

“You wanted to see me?”

“Oh! Yes. Come in.”

James stepped into Lily’s – ahem, Miss Evans’ – office, looking around curiously. It wasn’t much of an office, more like a box with just enough room for a desk piled high with papers and a bookshelf. She had managed to personalise it though: a figurine of a deer on one shelf, a photograph of her with some friends and another with her parents on her desk, an art nouveau calendar and some art prints hanging on the wall. James made a note of each detail, filing them away into his memory.

Shuffling through her papers, dislodging some so that they fluttered to the floor, her neat handwriting visible in the margins, Lily herself was flustered. A pink tinge had appeared in her cheeks, and she was biting her bottom lip in a way that made James think all sorts of inappropriate things.

“I didn’t realise PhD students got their own offices,” he said to cover the silence. “Maybe I should rethink the whole postgrad thing.”

“What? Oh, yes.” Lily looked up. Her green eyes met his for a few seconds and then slid away again. “Well, they do if they’re teaching as part of it.”

Silence fell between them for a moment. James found himself staring at her long red hair, caught up in a ribbon in a low ponytail and curling down over her shoulder. He wondered how soft would it feel wrapped around his fingers.

“I, um, I was expecting you to come tomorrow, since it’s after hours …”

He shrugged. “I was in the library already.”

That was a bare-faced lie. But even though they spent hours talking after class, in the library (when he was there), over coffee, he knew she wouldn’t be happy if he told that even though the day’s classes had finished four hours ago he had walked the twenty minutes from his apartment to see her the minute he got her email asking him to come in and speak to her when he was free.

“Oh. Okay. It would probably be better … I mean, perhaps you should come back tomorrow.”

He took a step towards her. “But I’m here now.”

This time when Lily met his gaze she didn’t look away. “Yes … it was about your paper.”

Abruptly she span around and started shuffling through things on her desk again. James couldn’t say he minded too much, since it gave him a good view of the curve of her neck. When she turned back she was holding out the essay he had submitted the week before in her hands. 

Taking another step forwards he took it from her, letting his fingers linger over hers. A shiver ran through her, and he could see her catch her breath.

“I just wanted to tell you that it was a lot better than your last one. I told you if you just applied yourself …” Her voice trailed off as she looked down at their still-touching hands.

“You’re a good teacher,” James smiled.

She bit her lip again, sending warmth pulsing through his stomach. “James …”

“I bet,” he continued, leaning forward until his lips were just hovering over hers, “There’s a lot you could teach me.”

“I’m your _teacher_.”

“I know. I’m not going to get you in trouble.”

It took every inch of willpower he possessed to pull away from her, taking his essay with him. There was a mingled look of relief and disappointment in Lily’s eyes as he did so.

“But in a few more weeks, I’ll be finished. And you won’t be my teacher anymore. Then …” He allowed him one last moment of weakness, reaching up to tuck a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. “Then I’ll be back.”

Leaving her with a smile, he turned towards the door.

“James?”

He looked back over his shoulder. “Yeah?”

“I’ll be waiting.”


	4. Third Wheel (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Falling in love with their best friend's partner AU

Lily was halfway down the drive when James caught her. His footsteps crunched on the gravel as he ran to catch up with her and she hated herself for knowing it was him before he called out, and even more than that she hated the way she seemed to feel his voice shivering through her.

“Evans. Hey, Evans!”

Stopping, she took a moment to breathe in deeply and dig out a smile before she turned to face him.

He slowed and came to a halt just in front of her. This close she was reminded how tall he was; she had to crane her neck to meet his eyes. She tried to resist the urge to count the colours in them, which came over her whenever she looked at him, and instead focused on their expression. They were partly hidden behind his glasses, but she could see the corners were crinkled up with faint confusion. A tiny furrow had appeared in his brow, and Lily’s hand itched to reach up and smooth it away.

 _Stop it!_ She scolded herself.

“Where are you going?” James asked, with an awkward shuffle of his feet.

“Oh … I’ve just got a bit of a headache, not really in the party mood.” Somehow she managed to keep her voice light, and was proud of herself for doing so. “I think I’m just going to head home.”

“Aw, come on, we’re just getting started.”

She had thought she had managed to slip away without anyone noticing – she had waited until everyone was distracted, hadn’t even said goodbye, planning to text Marlene when she got home. Trust James to realise she was gone within a few seconds. She had tried to avoid his attention in particular, but often it seemed like he was as hyper-aware of her and she was of him …

 _Stop. It. He’s Mary’s_ boyfriend.

“Really, I’m not up for it.” It was the vaguest, most garbled of excuses, but she couldn’t tell him the real reason she wanted to leave. That it was too painful; that watching Mary reach out to run a hand along his arm or rest her head on his shoulder sent agonising pangs of jealousy and longing churning through Lily. And that was followed by the inevitable self-loathing that she would ever think that about her best friend’s boyfriend. “I’ll just bring everyone down. You won’t even miss me.”

Before he could say anything else – he would only have to ask her one more time to make her change her mind – she turned on her heel and started back down the street, leaving him with a wave and a called,

“I’ll see you all later!”

She was in such a hurry to get away from her own emotions that she didn’t look back to see James standing on the pavement, staring after her, his mouth pulled downwards into a troubled frowned. She didn’t see his shoulders slump in disappointed as she vanished around the corner, or hear him sigh and whisper quietly to himself,

“Yeah, Lily. I will.”


	5. Third Wheel (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Can you please do a part II to that 'falling in love with their best friend's significant other' AU?

He was perched on a wall outside the restaurant, waiting for her, nervously playing with the sleeve of his jumper. Lily watched him for a few minutes from behind the door before she worked up the nerve to go over to him, her heart thumping painfully against her ribs like it was straining to escape her chest. To get to him.

When she did go over, she did her best to appear calm, cool and unruffled. “Hello, James.”

His eyes burned into hers. “Lily.”

She didn’t think he’d ever called her by her first name before. She wanted to hear it on his lips a thousand times over. 

“What are you doing here?”

“I - um. Can I walk you home?" 

She hesitated only a moment before nodding. He unfolded himself from the wall and together they started walking along the road. For several minutes they were silent; Lily kept glancing up at him out of the corner of her eye but he seemed fixated on his shoes. His brows were knotted together in a frown, and he was biting his lip. 

Finally, when the silence had stretched so tightly between them it felt like they were on opposite sides of the world and not walking so close their shoulders almost brushed together, he spoke.

"I broke up with Mary.”

“I know.”

He nodded. “Yeah, I guess you would.”

Mary had told her earlier, when she got home after a long day studying to have a couple of hours to herself before her waitressing shift. As soon as she had opened the door to their apartment Mary had dropped the news on her.

_“James broke up with me."_

_There was a loud thunk as Lily dropped the books she was holding. She didn’t even notice, too busy staring at her best friend, sure she must have misheard her._

_"W-what?”_

_Mary repeated, “James broke up with me.”_

_“Did he give you a reason?”_

_“He’s in love with someone else.”_

_It was like a physical blow; the air had been punched out of her and her legs were suddenly wobbling and she felt unsteady on her own feet. Slowly she sank down to her knees and, in a kind of daze, started gathering up the books she had dropped. She had to lick her dry lips and swallow before she could speak again._

_“I’m really sorry, Mary. Did he - did he say who?”_

_“No.” Mary shook her head. “He just said it had taken him a while to figure it out, but now he’s sure. He’s in love with them. And he’s really sorry, but it would be unfair to lead me on because it would only hurt me more. So he decided to end it.”_

James didn’t seem inclined to elaborate, falling back into silence beside her. When it became clear he wasn’t going to say anything else, Lily stopped in her tracks. A sudden determination had filled her, and she was afraid if she didn’t ask him now it would falter and fade and the moment would pass.

“She also told me why.”

Noticing that she was no longer beside him, James had also stopped and now turned to face her. “I thought she might.” 

Lily nodded slowly, not knowing what to say.

“I know it makes me a first class jerk. And I’m really sorry about that. I hate that I hurt her.”

Self-recrimination was thick in his voice. 

“It’s not … it was harsh.” She wanted to reach out and comfort him, but she wouldn’t lie to him. Not even to make him feel better. “But you didn’t set out to hurt her. And she’s … she’s okay.”

"She is?” James looked slightly suspicious, like he didn’t know whether or not to believe her. 

_“Are you okay?” Lily watched her friend with concern, wishing she knew how to console her. But she hadn’t even been able to soothe away her own heartbreak._

_There was a long pause before Mary replied, and when she did her answer was the last thing Lily expected._

_“Yeah, actually I kind of am.”_

_That was confusing, given she was skipping class and watching their go-to comfort film. “You - are?”_

_“I’m upset. We were together for a while and it’s sad to think it’s over. But when he was telling me all of that, I kept waiting for it to feel like my heart had been ripped out and it just … never happened.” Mary was frowning slightly, like she didn’t quite understand it herself. “I think … I think maybe I thought I liked him more than I really did. I liked the idea of being with him. I’m more sad about not having a boyfriend than that_ James _isn’t my boyfriend any more. Does that make me a bad person?”_

_Feeling a rush of affection, Lily dropped her books again and moved to sit next to her friend. Pulling her into a hug she said, “No, of course it doesn’t. It doesn’t make you a bad person to want to be special to someone, even just the idea of someone. I’m just glad you’re alright.”_

_She felt Mary’s arms slide around her, returning the hug. “Thanks, Lily.”_

Looking up at James now, she nodded. He deserved to know that he hadn’t hurt Mary as much as he clearly thought he had; he shouldn’t have to beat himself up over a situation where no one had done anything wrong and it was impossible to do anything without hurting someone.

"She is. Or she will be. Telling her the truth was the right thing to do.”

Some tension seemed to trickle out of his body and his shoulders relaxed.

“Good. I’m glad." 

His eyes met hers and he gave a tiny, grateful smile and that she couldn’t help returning. She felt like she could so easily look track of time looking at him, like the world would disappear until it was just the two of them and seconds and minutes and hours lost all meaning. 

Did he know that was how he made her feel, standing over her, looking down at her like that?

Unsure how to ask what she wanted to ask - somehow the words, _Is it me you’re in love with? Please, please let it be me_ , seemed too simple - she repeated her earlier question, 

“So why are you here, James?”

He took a step closer. “Do you really not know?”

Taking a breath, she said quietly, “I need to hear you say it.”

"Because I’m in love with you.”

_Mary pulled away from the hug first and looked thoughtfully at Lily._

_“You know … when he told me he was in love with someone else, I thought it might be you he was talking about.”_

_“What?” She could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks, hot and uncomfortable. She waved a hand, trying to airily brush it off, but her heart was thumping so hard against her ribs she was sure it must be echoing throughout the room. Could it have been her? “Don’t be ridiculous.”_

_“I’m not! The way he looks at you sometimes,” Mary shrugged. “And I’m not oblivious. I know you have feelings for him.”_

_And there was the guilt, gnawing away at her stomach like a parasite. “Mary …”_

_“It’s okay. You never did anything and I appreciate that. You’re a good friend.” Reaching out across the sofa, Mary squeezed her hand. “And, so you know, if it is you he loves, that’s okay too. I want you to be happy.”_

Sharp tears pricked at the back of Lily’s eyes. “You’re a good friend, too.”

It was as if his words were tangible things, reverberating through her. She didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry; she had imagined him saying those words to her so many times but actually hearing it was so much better than she could ever have thought possible.

“I know I shouldn’t say that,” he added quickly, running a hand through his hair and making it even messier, “You’re Mary’s best friend. I shouldn’t even - but I do. I love you. And I couldn’t not tell you. So there it is, and I’m sorry but -”

“James,” she cut across him softly. “I love you, too.”

He blinked.

“Y-you _do_?”

"Yes.”

He stared at her for a moment, then, slowly, tentatively, lifted a hand to brush her hair back. When she didn’t pull away, but smiled, he bent down to kiss her. His fingers left trails of fire along her skin and when his lips met hers she could feel it in every nerve of her body. Reaching up on tip toes to wind her arms around her neck, she let him pull her tightly against him so she could feel his heart hammering out the same rough rhythm as hers, and kissed him over and over until they both breathless.

When they pulled back his eyes were soft, and slightly dazed. He gazed down at her, asking with concern, “Are you sure? That this is … okay?” 

“Truthfully? No. But I can’t keep pretending I don’t feel this,” she said, biting the inside of her mouth. “We’ll have to go slow … keep it private for a while. She said it was okay but I don’t want her to be any more hurt.”

“Neither do I. Slow’s fine. We can be as slow as you want.”

He stepped back again. Even though it was just a few inches, Lily felt colder with the sudden space. But he was smiling as he held out his hand.

“Let’s start with walking you home."


	6. Distractions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: James stares longingly at Lily

“You’re staring at me.”

James grinned where he was stretched out on one of the common room sofas, completely unrepentant. He was sure he had read the same paragraph in his Transfiguration textbook ten times, but each time he tried to concentrate on what he was reading he ended up thinking about how the golden light from the fire brought out the different tones of red and copper in Lily’s hair, making them shimmer like they were made of flame themselves.

She was curled up next to him, head resting against his shoulder as she read through her Charms essay. Was it his fault their positions gave him the a perfect view from which to trace the lines of her features? Her nose, which turned up just a little at the end, the soft curve of her lips, the dimple in her chin, the spot where her ear met her jawline that James had discovered was her favourite place to be kissed.

“ _James_.”

“What? Am I not allowed to stare at my girlfriend?”

She leaned her head back to look up at him. “It’s distracting.”

Bending down, he brushed his lips over the spot beneath her ear that he had just been admiring. The kiss was feather-light, the most fleeting of touches, but he was gratified to hear her make a little noise of pleasure none the less.

“You know,” he said, dotting another brief, quicksilver kiss against her skin, “Distractions can be good sometimes.”


	7. Penny For Your Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: James tells Lily that he loves her, and she doesn't understand why

They had officially been dating now for one month, two weeks, three days, four hours and about twenty minutes. James still wasn’t sure exactly what he had done to change Lily’s mind – just a few months ago he had been ready to resign himself to the idea that she would never want to be with him – but he wasn’t about to question his good fortune.

Their new dynamic had taken some adjusting to, especially since they hadn’t had that much practice at being friends first, but he didn’t think he’d ever tire of it. Of being able to hold Lily’s hand as they walked down the school hallways and feel her soft fingers laced with his; of pulling her into darkened alcoves when they were supposed to be patrolling the corridors and kissing her until they were both breathless with laughter; of just looking at her in class, or on Hogsmeade weekends, or while they were studying together and thinking, _She chose me. She wants_ me.

Of moments like this, when they were sat under the tree at the edge of the lake, enjoying the bright spring warmth, Lily leaning back into him as she read while he traced lazy circles on her arms with one finger.

The trouble was, there were moments – just small moments, but they replayed in his mind over and over – when he thought Lily might not feel the same. He would catch her looking at him with a flash of doubt in her eyes, or he would pull her close and there would be a fraction of hesitation. It would be just his luck, he mused, if he finally stopped fighting his feelings for her only for her to realise that she really would rather date the giant squid after all. It would hurt worse than if she had never changed her mind at all.

“Penny for them.”

He jerked out of his thoughts to see Lily had half-turned in his arms and was looking curiously up at him.

“Who’s Penny and what’s she for?”

“No, no,” Lily laughed, and it dawned on him that she must have been using a muggle expression. “Penny for your thoughts. A penny’s muggle money.”

“Oh, right.”

The fact that she was asking him a question passed him by for another few moments until she dug a elbow into his middle. “So. What are you thinking about?”

He looked down at her, and hesitated. He took in her big green eyes, always filled with such warmth and kindness; the dark red hair falling down over her forehead and curling over her shoulders; the slightly snub nose that in summer sometimes had a very light dusting of freckles over it. And he decided to hell with it. He had enough regrets already for a seventeen year old, he wasn’t going to add any more.

“About how much I love you.”

Her eyes widened, her lips forming a small ‘o’ of surprise, and there it was; the flicker of doubt, almost fear, passing over her face. That flicker sent pain slicing through him, and a sick, resigned feeling settled in the base of his stomach as Lily pulled away from him and sat up. Her hair fell further forward, shadowing her face as she started to speak,

“James– ”

“It’s okay.” He cut across her, hoping he was winning the battle to keep the despair he was feeling out of his face. “You don’t have to, you know, say it back or anything. And if – if you’re having second thoughts about us … that’s okay too. I just wanted to tell you.”

A glimmer along her eyelashes told him she was close to tears. That just made him feel worse; he had meant to make it easier for her to break up with him.

“It’s not – I just– ” Her voice was tight with frustration and she buried her face her in hands for several seconds before looking up at him, looking utterly torn. “Why?”

“ _Why_?” That was the last response James expected. Sitting up straighter himself, he asked with a frown, “Why what? Why do I love you?”

“Well. Yeah.” She gestured helplessly. “I’m stubborn and bossy, and I have an awful temper. I’m hyper-critical, I’m always telling you off and I’m over-emotional and,” she stopped, closing her eyes and taking a breath before continuing, “I just mean, you first asked me out when we were thirteen. Are you sure you really love _me_? Not some idea that you have of me, and what it would be like to be with me?”

James was astounded. In all his worries and fears that Lily might be unhappy, he had always thought it was because she was rediscovering _his_ flaws, remembering all the reasons she hadn’t wanted to go out with him in the first place. He had never once considered that she might think _she_ could disappoint _him_.

“Wait. What? Is that what you’ve been afraid of all this time? That, what, you wouldn’t meet my expectations?”

She gave the tiniest nod.

“Lily, I know who you are. Yeah, you’re stubborn and bossy, but you’re also kind – the kindest person I know. You spend hours helping first years with their homework, and helping them get to know the castle. And you’re compassionate. You worked out Remus’ secret and instead of telling anyone you went out of your way to cover for him. You gave me a second chance when I’ve been complete prick for most of the time you’ve known me.”

That made her laugh a bit, which encouraged him to go on.

“I still would be if it wasn’t for you being hyper-critical and always telling me off. It frustrates the hell out of me at times, but I need it. You make me better. Lily,” he scooted forward and took her hands in his, “I don’t love you because I have this idea of that you’re some perfect being who can do no wrong. I love you because you’re _you_.”

She had been turning steadily redder with every word, but now smiled as she had smiled when they first started going out, all doubt and fear fled from her face. When she leaned back into him, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face in his shoulder, James felt like everything was right with the world again. He held her tightly against him, pressing his own face into her hair and breathing the scent of her in.

He didn’t think he could possibly feel happier, but then Lily’s lips brushed against his ear and she said,

“Then I guess it’s a good thing that I love you too.”


	8. Gone Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Lily goes missing (kidnapped) during an Order mission and James going out of his mind to find her

“What do you mean, she’s gone?”

James stared at Edgar Bones as if he could find the sense in what the older man had just said written in the lines of his face. But he found nothing; nothing to help him understand the words still echoing in his ears - Lily’s gone, James – nothing to help him tease out some hidden meaning. But there had to be something, because the alternative, the only other meaning James could possibly take from them, was too terrible, too unthinkable –

_Lily’s gone, James._

“I mean she’s gone. She was taken,” Edgar spoke slowly, his words gentle like he was talking to an animal that was easily spooked.

A high-pitched whine seemed to be growing in James’ ears, making it hard for him to hear what was being said to him. Panic was swelling inside of him, rising slickly up from his stomach and threatening to suffocate him.

“The tip we were given about the Death Eaters’ location – it must have been fed to us by a spy,” Edgar was explaining. His eyes were hooded with guilt, and his shoulders slumped with weariness. “We were ambushed. I didn’t see exactly what happened – there were too many spells being cast – but when everything cleared she was gone. Taken, I think. At least … there was no body.”

Before he could stop it an image of Lily, pale and cold and glassy-eyed rose up before him. He had to grasp the table to keep himself upright, and thought he might be sick.

“I’m sorry, James.”

“She can’t – no, she can’t be -” His tongue was too thick in his mouth, and he couldn’t get the words out. “We have to _find her_.”

_Lily’s gone._

He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Sirius had come to stand beside him, his face grim. “We will, James. We’ll find her. People are already out looking for information – ”

“Do we not have anything? There must be something! Can’t we – ”

Can’t we what? They had prisoners. Someone had to know something. Where to look, who to talk to. They had to get the information out of them. Storm anywhere they might be hiding. They had to do something, get Lily out before it was too late.

“She’s strong, Prongs,” Sirius was bending down to look him in the eye, his voice low. Worry thrummed beneath his words; worry for Lily, worry for James. “There’s no one stronger. She’ll make it through this. She’ll be okay. We’ll get her out.”

James nodded, unable to speak.

They would find her. They would get her out. They had to. 

_Hold on, Lily. I’m coming._


	9. When Violins Play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Competing Musicians AU

The posters were plastered allover the theatre, big screaming things in bright red with curling golden letters announcing that The Marauders would be playing that weekend. And over all of them were stickers bearing the words “SOLD OUT” in capital letters. Standing outside the doors, an umbrella in one hand and her violin case in the other,Lily tried to resist the urge to roll her eyes.

She wasn’t surprised that they had sold out. If anything she had would have been more surprised if they hadn’t; they were a band comprised of four of the most talented musicians in their class, after all, and everyone at the university was eager to hear what they would come up with together. In truth Lily was curious herself, although it was irritating to admit it.

It was the garishness of the posters that was getting to her, and the fact that they were peppered all over her theatre.

Technically, it was the university’s theatre, for all the students to use and perform in. But Lily had come to think of it as hers, her own special place. She often went there in the evenings when no one was performing to practice. There was something about the empty stage without an audience, being there when no one else was, that inspired her; when there was nothing but space the building itself seemed to become part of the music.

Below the glittering gold headline of The Marauders’ poster – _Messrs. Mooney, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs are proud to present their first concert_ \- was a photo of then band. The lead singer and guitarist, Sirius Black, was in front, his dark hair swept over his forehead, the collar of his leather jacket artistically turned up. On his left were the band’s keyboardist, Remus Lupin, stood with his hands in his pockets and looking sweetly awkward, and the drummer, Peter Pettigrew, baby-faced and grinning broadly at the camera. On Sirius’ right was the band’s other guitarist, and its songwriter, James Potter.

James was the one who had put the band together. He had transferred in the previous year from a different stage school that didn’t have as specialised a music programme, and within a few days of his arrival he, Sirius, Remus and Peter were all as thick as thieves. It wasn’t much longer until they had locked themselves away in the practice rooms every free moment and everyone was talking about their band.

Although they shared most of the same classes, Lily hadn’t spoken to James until about a month after he arrived. She had been practising in a free room one lunchtime when she noticed him lounging against the doorframe, watching her with a lazy smile.

“Can I help you?” she had asked, a little coolly. She found him disconcerting. He wasn’t as classically handsome as Sirius, but there was a liveliness and energy about his face that drew and held her attention; humour flashed in his eyes when he talked, and his grin brightened up whatever room he was in. But as talented and charming as he seemed to be, his confident bordered on arrogance, and he put her on edge.

He had shrugged. “Just checking out the competition. Remus said you were the most talented musician here, which was quite the blow to my ego, so of course I had to hear you play myself.”

She had tried her best to hide her pleasure, but wasn’t convinced she was successful. “And?” 

“You’re good. _Very_ good. You’ll be a worthy rival, Evans.”

And that … that was perhaps at the root of her irritation, though she hated to admit it. Before James Potter turned up she had been golden girl of her class. Everyone admired her violin playing, and knew she would go on to great things. Suddenly she had had to start competing for the top spot.

To be fair, no one had stopped believing she was talented. Or that she would do well. But James and his band were new, and far more exciting. And though Lily knew it was silly to be upset, unreasonable to feel a stab of jealousy that their concert had sold out so quickly, she couldn’t help it.

Shaking her head, she put her umbrella down and pushed open the door to the theatre. She ducked quickly inside out of the rain – and then paused, as the strains of music floated out from the stage to the entrance.

Curious to know who else was here, she tiptoed to the door into the theatre proper and gently pushed it open a fraction to peek inside.

_James?_

He was sat cross-legged at the edge of the stage, sheet music spread out before him, strumming on his guitar and humming softly to himself. His mouth was curved downwards into a faint frown and, as Lily watched, he stopped, shook his head, and picked up a pen to make some changes to the music.

He looked different like this, own his own, lost in the music. The arrogance was gone from his face, leaving only thoughtfulness and slight frustration. Lily recognised that expression; she wore it often enough herself. It made him seem younger, and kinder, somehow. Without thinking, she pushed the door open a bit more to get a better look, but immediately he paused and his head snapped up.

“Lily?”

“Uh. Yes.” Feeling embarrassed, she stepped fully inside. “Sorry, I didn’t realise anyone else was in here.”

“That’s alright.” He was quiet for a moment, watching her. Rocking back and forth where she stood, Lily wondered if she should say something, or maybe just leave, but somehow that felt like it would be more awkward.

Then his smile slid smoothly back into place, and even at a distance Lily could see the mischief in his eyes.

“So, you want a preview while you’re here?”

The tension relaxed, and Lily huffed an exasperated sigh. “Honestly. Your ego doesn’t need to get any bigger.”

“Nah, come on, I’m serious. I’ve, uh, got this song I can’t quite get right.” Was it her imagination, or was he looking nervous? “Listen to it, see you what you think.”

She hesitated a moment, then nodded and moved closer. “Alright.”

Pleased, he started plucking at the strings of his guitar again. A light, scattered refrain gave way to a slow, gentle melody. James played silently for a few bars and then started singing in a low, slightly husky voice.

_I’ve tried so many times to say_  
_How it makes me feel_  
_But I can’t find the words_  
_There’s both too many and too few_  
_And never in the right combination_  
_Nothing that can explain_  
_That magic_  
_When I hear violins play_

Violins?

Lily felt a warmth spread across her cheeks and told herself not to read anything into the lyrics. But she couldn’t help thinking that when he sang those words his eyes flickered deliberately to her. And she couldn’t stop her free hand from going to the violin case she was still holding.  
She told herself it was silly, ridiculous even, to feel her breath suddenly hitch and a nervous fluttering at the base of her stomach.

_It’s like constellations exploding_  
_Into a thousand tiny shining stars_  
_Like flying_  
_And breathless space_  
_Where time stands still and I can feel_  
_Eternity around me_  
_It’s all these things yet_  
_Something more_  
_When I hear violins play_

She felt almost disappointed when he stopped singing and the strumming came to a slow, lilting halt.

As silence settled back in around them, James coughed nervously and ran a hand through his hair. He looked up at Lily, then away again as if he couldn’t quite meet her gaze.

“Well, that’s all I’ve got so far,” he said, “What … what do you think?”

“It’s … different than your usual stuff. I like it,” Lily added quickly, seeing the flash of uncertainty, “I love it, actually.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He smiled then, sincerely and brilliantly, and it felt like Lily’s heart was trying to jump straight out of her chest.

“Violins, huh?” she asked, gripping her case a little tighter.

He nodded. “Violins.”

The smile that spread across her own face was slow, but bright and happy.

“So. Want to stay and play for a while?” James asked, gesturing at the empty spot next to him on the stage.

The words of his song were still swirling around her head.

“Yeah. I’d like that."


	10. Rivals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Lily being a profession Quidditch player and James being on the opposing team but having a giant crush on her.

“Alright, are we all clear?” James swept a look around at his teammates.

They were sat on the benches in the changing rooms, brooms in hand, while he went through pre-game tactics onelast time. Distant sounds from the crowd had started filtering in from outside as he spoke, a low rumble of voices reverberating through the air telling them the stadium was nearly full and there were only a few minutes until they were called for the start of the match.

James could tell from the way most of the team were clutching their brooms just a little too tightly, their knuckles white, that the nerves had started kicking in as they did before every game – but that was okay. A few nerves were a good thing; they kept a player sharp, alert, minimised the chances that they wouldn’t see a bludger headed straight for them until it was too late. It was when the nerves became paralysing fear that mistakes were made, but his team were all experienced players so James had no worries on that front.

“Dixon, Goodall, you’re to get the Quaffle to the goals as fast as possible – keep passing, zig-zagging, to keep them off course. Don’t give them a chance to catch up to you. Keep their attention on you, and I’ll be wide open at the end to make the shot. Morris, Fletcher, your priority is to keep their Beaters off us, but try and keep their Seeker and Keeper occupied if you can. King, stay out of way, don’t draw attention. Just keep your eyes peeled for the Snitch, and end the game as quickly as possible. Thornton – hopefully we’ll keep the game away from your end, but if they do get the Quaffle, well, don’t let them score, yeah? Right, any questions?”

“Yeah, actually.” Ellie Dixon, a girl a couple of years older than James with elaborately braided hair and sharp brown eyes, raised a hand lazily into the air. “Why do you get to take the shot? Why can’t it be me, or Seb?” She indicated the other Chaser on the team with a nod of her head.

Awkwardly running a hand through his hair, James lifted a shoulder in a half-shrug. “You know why. Not to sound arrogant, but I’m the best shot out of the three of us. And we want to finish this with as big a lead as possible.”

Ellie raised one eyebrow. “Oh, that’s why?”

A flush of embarrassment and annoyance stung James’ cheeks. “Yes, that’s why.”

“ _That’s_ why?”

“You think I have another reason?”

Seb snorted and Greg Morris shook his head in amusement. “Come off it, Potter. We all know why.”

“All except me, apparently,” James said, folding his arms.

Millie Thornton, their Keeper, a short, cheerful girl with a sunny smile just laughed. “Evans. We’re talking about Evans, James.”

James felt his flush deepen, and tried his best to feign a vaguely disinterested expression, like he had no idea what they were talking about. Like his pulse hadn’t sped up at the mention of that name and it didn’t suddenly feel like there were a thousand snitches flitting around inside him. From the grins they were all wearing, he wasn’t sure he wasn’t successful.

“Evans?”

“Lily Evans. The Arrows’ Seeker,” Ellie said in a dry voice. “The one you’re always making doe-eyes at.”

Coughing, James opted to stare at the ceiling instead of meeting her mocking gaze. “Even if that were true, which I’m not saying it is, why would that affect my decision about who takes the shot?”

He didn’t have to be looking to know she was rolling her eyes. “You just want to show off for her.”

“ _Excuse_ me —”

His protests were drowned out by the derision of his teammates, who weren’t about to let him pretend that the fact that he was best shot on the team wasn’t a convenient excuse for him to look good in front of the pretty redheaded Seeker he was crushing on, who just happened to play for their most bitter rivals.

Before James could formulate any kind of reply, the door swung open and one of the stadium assistant poked his head to tell them the match was about to start, so could they please come and line up for their entrance.

“Right, well, unless any of you have any last minute tactics …?” James said when the assistant was gone, only the faintest trace of smugness in his voice. When his teammates didn’t reply, he continued, “Then that’s settled. Let’s go win this thing!”

Despite their misgivings over their captain’s motives, the team gave a cheer and followed him out to the low, tunnel-like hallway where the teams would wait to fly on to the pitch when they were announced.

The Appleby Arrows were already lined up and waiting, their blue and silver robes glimmering in the dim light of the tunnel. At the back of the line-up, as Seekers were announced last, was Lily Evans. Her dark red hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and as James came close she turned and threw a wide, beaming grin at him.

“Hey James.” Her green eyes twinkled and James’s stomach seemed to flop over. “Looking forward to losing again?”

“Don’t count on it, Evans.”

“That so?” she laughed, “Maybe we can make things interesting then.”

He managed a grin, and hoped it looked casual rather than nervous. “What do you suggest?”

Lily thought for a moment. “If we win … you have to wear an Arrows’ robe for a week.”

He opened his mouth to reply, but Seb swung an arm across his shoulder and cut him off. Raising a hand his pointed a finger at Lily and said slowly, “Alright, Evans. But if _we_ win, you go on a date with James.” 

James almost dropped his broom in surprise, and wished fervently that the ground would open him up and swallow him whole. Lily was clearly as taken aback as he was, her mouth falling slightly open and her eyes widening. For some reason, all her teammates started giggling and she blushed almost as red as her hair.

Then to James’ complete shock, she nodded. “Deal.”

A whistle sounding from the pitch prevented any further discussion, and James could feel his teammates’ smirks as they hurried to get into line alongside the Arrows. Flustered, he nearly tripped over his own robes as he mounted his broom, and with extreme difficulty resisted the urge to look back over his shoulder at Lily.

She’d agreed to a date. With him. Alright, as the forfeit for a bet, but still. By the end of the day he could have a date with Lily Evans.

When the commentator called his name and he kicked off from the ground, he didn’t think he had ever been more determined to win a match in his life.


End file.
